pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
