I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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