I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
