it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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