If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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