he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
