theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
