My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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