..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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