They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
so much tequila, so little girl.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
