Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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