By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
