don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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