i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
