Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
