he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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