Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
