respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I have post one night stand depression
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