i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
