I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
