Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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