All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
