my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
