Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
