Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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