How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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