found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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