I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
