I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
