Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
