i think i have herpe
just one?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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