My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
