was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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