When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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