i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
