Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
