sarcasm needs its own font
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
