Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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