I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
don't judge my taste in strippers
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
