It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
