i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
