I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
