dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize