Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
