i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
