Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
