Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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