Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
