I just saw a hot homeless man
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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