NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
