great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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