they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
