I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
