when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
