This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
