Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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