omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
