i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
wanna go halves on a baby?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize